dear friends,
go fucking fuck yourself.




baby, it's nice to see that you trust me. it's nice to know that you tell&show me things you wont show or tell to many others. it's nice to see that we're ALIKE, that i've finally found someone almost like me. it's to know that i hate my father and you hate yours, that we try to deal with our mothers as best we can and obtain as much understanding about the underpinnings of this world as possible for two 16 yr olds. but i'm getting tired of this.
i'm getting tired of you ditching me for your boyfriend.
i'm tired of you never IMing me.
i'm tired of you being so far away, and always weighed down with work.
i'm tired of being jealous of people YOU IM on a regular basis. evidently, i am one of your best friends but i am not one of them.
but i'm going to hold onto our friendship. because i think it's something worth salvaging.


dominicana, i don't care about you anymore. go fuck around with your older boyfriend. go fuck your future. go fuck yourself. go and not give a shit about anything in your life but the boys you kiss and fuck and give head to. i don't mind your open sensuality. i don't mind your openness with the 'art of loving'. i don't mind it. it'sj ust that like everything else, everything good should be kept in moderation. you're not keeping your head above the water. i've relied on people for a sense of clarity too. and i realized that it's no good. it gets you into trouble. it gives the other person too much control. and at his age, he DEFINITELY knows how to work it and use it and the fact that he HAS it. 

you're beautiful. but i'm snipping the thread that led me to you. because you already cut your ties to me.
and don't ever, EVER call me to talk to someone else ever again.


darling/lover,  BE THERE. you're a cool kid, but i'm holding my affection and my judgement. i can't really open myself up to you. you can't really be serious. i'm not expecting you to at your age, because damn, you're YOUNG. but i'm expecting maturity out of my friends. i don't befriend people who aren't mature enough for me to hold a serious conversation with. so far, all we've done is bitch to each other and hold hands and whisper and giggle like little schoolgirls. i'm good with a "little school girl friendship." 
but i want more.


you've disappeared off the map. you don't like it when i say i miss you. you're afraid of letting people get close. let me in. i swear, i won't hurt you. you would have been my very best friend. we would have been explosive together.


we party together. that's it. you need to much space and i need too much closeness. but i'm good with dealing with you. we have fun together. and that, darling, is it.


boy....
i hate you. period.


ex boyfriend, i'm glad i went out with you. not for the pain that i caused myself. and the pain that you caused me and the asshole way that you treated me, but for the lessons i was taught. you're still a good friend. i'm happy that we can salvage a friendship. you're cool too. just stop being so damn dark.